The Urinal Etiquette: A Snapshot of Masculinity and Humor
The phrase 'Don't forget more than three shakes it's a wank' is a humorous and slightly indecent expression that plays on the social norms around bathroom etiquette and the humor often found in discussions about bodily functions.
This is a phrase commonly used by guys in the UK when they visit the lavatory. Upon finishing urination, it is customary for a man to shake his penis a couple of times in order to get rid of the last drops. However, the humor inherent in the phrase 'Don't forget more than three shakes it's a wank' suggests that if one shakes it more than three times, one is engaging in self-abuse or masturbation. A more genteel way to express this is, 'more than three shakes is self-abuse.'
Unwritten Urinal Etiquette
There are several unwritten urinal etiquettes that guys follow, often in semi-joking contexts, especially when with friends. These include:
-If you shake it more than once you are playing with yourself. -Chads don't shake it; just let their undies take care of the rest. -Move on no time to shake, man; the last squirt belongs in the boxers. -No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drops go down your pants. -Remember from the second shake, it is a pull. -Piss fast, shake twice, haul ass. -Shaking is beta; alphas have some wind chill in the boxers. -Ten shakes, that's a chronic case of pussitis. -Be back in one shake.These phrases and practices are deeply ingrained in male social norms and add a layer of humor and camaraderie to the bathroom experience.
Masculinity and Time
Young men, in particular, often hurry each other to finish quickly, often without any shaking. Staying there longer than a second after finishing to remove all the last drops is generally seen as odd and even emasculating. This compulsion for speed and efficiency is rooted in a desire to prove one's masculinity.
The final phrase, 'get your knob back in your trousers before people think you're pleasuring yourself,' underscores the importance of maintaining a quick and dignified exit from the urinal. It highlights the cultural expectations for men to act in a way that does not provoke suspicion or draw attention. A gentleman would rather risk staining his underpants than have someone assume he was surreptitiously basking in the pleasure of the moment.
In a broader sense, these urinal rituals reflect the broader cultural dynamics of masculinity, where speed, efficiency, and proving one's worth are highly valued. The humor and camaraderie around these phrases also serve to establish bonds between men in a way that feels both relatable and intense.
In conclusion, the urinal etiquette and related humor provide a window into the complex cultural and social norms that govern male behavior in public spaces. Far from being trivial, these practices reflect deeper layers of male identity and the ways in which we negotiate masculinity in our everyday lives.