How do you feel as a caregiver?

My experience as a caregiver for my wife over the past 45 years has been a reality of life, not defined by particular emotions. When I said 'I do,' I embraced the commitment 'in sickness and in health.' Days can be more exhausting or less demanding than others, but the core feeling is exhaustion. There are also moments of disappointment, especially when family does not provide the support needed.

The Last Chapter: Caring for a Father

One of the most profound caregiving roles was when I was responsible for my father, the last father I cared for. I adored my daddy deeply, and it was a privilege to care for him in his final coherent days. Despite challenges, he was not easy to care for or please, and he could be quite difficult at times. Yet, it was during those intense months that we truly connected as people, not just as father and daughter. We were honest with each other, and there were aspects of our lives that we never truly knew about the other, marking a significant loss in our understanding of one another.

My mother had passed a few years earlier, and my father cherished her profoundly. His love for her was unconditional, making his request to join her in the afterlife understandable, though deeply heartbreaking. In those late hours of our wakefulness, my father expressed the inevitability of his death and the struggles he faced with it. This moment remains etched in my memory, a sentence I would carry to my grave.

'Quora for my tears, I hate you.' This callback to the infamous Quora post resonates profoundly, reflecting both the raw emotion and the humbling reality of life's most tender moments.

Caregiving in the Age of Accommodation

While caregiving is rewarding, it is also incredibly challenging. You learn a great deal about the human body and its intricacies. Working with nurses or doctors enhances your understanding as they regularly assess your ability to be a reliable caregiver. However, taking full care for 24 hours a day, seven days a week, can be extremely demanding.

In Australia, the age care system is often criticized, receiving a terrible rating worldwide, approximating 1.5/10. Finding assistance can be notoriously difficult, and my support from nursing services is limited to two visits per week for only four hours each. This reality underscores the difficulty in obtaining adequate support for caregivers.