The Impact of Close Extended Family Bonds on Personal Growth and Community
Family bonds extend far beyond the immediate members to include extended family members. My experience highlights the profound impact that strong and close extended family bonds can have on an individual's personal growth and the overall sense of community.
Close Connections with Extended Family Members
Being part of an extended family where all parents and grandparents are first-borns has its unique advantages. Personal interactions with relatives such as grandparents, grandparents' siblings, and cousins have been a significant part of my life. This unique familial structure has fostered a network of close relationships, both on my mother's side and father's side.
My Experience
Almost every side of my family is closely connected, and I personally know all of my grandparents' siblings and first cousins. Most of them still send me a card or call on my birthday even though we don't see each other very often. The extended family totals over 75 people on my mother's side and 50 on my father's side. Despite the large number of relatives, we maintain close ties, and news travels fast throughout the family. For instance, when I came out to my grandmother, it only took 2 days for my third cousin, living on the other side of the province, to call me about it.
A Hectic but Harmonious Family Environment
Despite the large number of relatives, our family lives in harmony. While we are part of a predominantly white family, many are married to people from other cultures, and I haven't encountered any significant cultural disapproval. However, there is one uncle who is known for his racist views, which stands as the exception rather than the rule.
Diverse Beliefs and Values
95% of our extended family are atheists, and while the older generations may still identify as Catholic, the majority of our family embraces a more secular worldview. This diverse belief system adds to the richness of our family dynamics and means of communication and understanding.
Community and Support
Knowing and having a relationship with all these people has brought numerous blessings. When someone in the family is in need, we all come together to support them. This small community extends beyond blood relations, as it is about truly caring and supporting one another. Family stories are preserved and passed down through generations, like the story of my great-great-great-grandfather.
Personal Growth
My childhood was significantly influenced by these close extended family bonds. This tight-knit community taught me to think about the common welfare before my own. It has instilled a sense of responsibility and mutual support that has shaped my perspective on life and relationships.
Contrasting Experience with My Birth Family
Turning to my own close blood family, I could only be physically less close if I lived on Alpha Centauri. There is only one member within 100 miles of my nuclear family—my wife and son. Some family members live 9,000 miles away, making regular, in-person interactions challenging. Despite this, we organized a 'world tour' to visit them, and the visits are consistently positive without any conflict or 'falling out.' The younger generation, though professing love, chooses not to demonstrate it through visits, which is both understandable and common in modern families.
Family Dynamics and Community
My wife's extended family lives within 20 miles, but the reality is that they are the ones who moved out of the area over thirty years ago. We, on the other hand, have visited them only a few times over the same period. While they all live close to each other, they never visit one another's homes. My sister-in-law is the exception, believing in family as something that only includes her husband and birth children. Despite this, they visit her home, which often leads to brief encounters.
The experiences with both my side and my wife's side of the family illustrate the variety of family relationships and the importance of ongoing effort in maintaining strong, supportive bonds.