Introduction to Parental Wisdom
As a child, we often learn valuable lessons from our parents. In this article, we explore several key pieces of advice that can guide us through life's challenges and promote personal and professional success. We delve into the wisdom imparted by the author's parents, offering insights and practical guidance that can be beneficial for anyone.
from my parents, do not abuse and manipulate
Growing up, one of the most impactful lessons I learned from my parents was the importance of not abusing or manipulating to get what I want. This was a common occurrence in my household, even into my early twenties. My parents made it clear that their ultimate goal was to teach me to respect others and avoid causing them pain. By making a vow to always be honest and keep my promises, I aimed to avoid making others feel the way I did for the first 20 years of my life.
Keep Personal Conversations to Yourself
My parents also advised me to avoid discussing sensitive topics like politics and religion with friends. They believed this was the best way to prevent losing a friend, as everyone is passionate about these subjects and holds strong opinions. It emphasized the importance of respecting others' beliefs and avoiding controversial discussions that could strain relationships.
Be Honest and Keep Your Word
Both my father and mother stressed the importance of being honest and keeping one's word. My father provided me with some of the best advice, teaching me to never discuss politics and religion with friends, as these topics can lead to misunderstandings and strain relationships. On the other hand, my mother, despite using harsh words herself, still told me to be cautious of my own language.
Respect and Mind Your Words
When I was young, my mother would often tell me to watch my mouth if I swore. She understood that using foul language doesn't just affect me; it reflects on those around me as well. She was wise to know that while she herself might say the same words, it's crucial to be mindful of the impact of our words on others.
Handle Marital Issues Responsibly
Another piece of valuable advice came from my father, who had once been unfaithful. He gave me the advice, “One time and the marriage is over.” This advice stuck with me when I was getting serious about a relationship with my future wife. It taught me the importance of respecting and honoring the commitments we make in life, especially in personal relationships.
Stay Close to Your Family
Despite not having a close relationship with my mother during my childhood, I aim to be as close to my daughter as possible. This is because I realized the value of honesty, openness, and being always there for her. My parents never had a talk about the 'birds and the bees,' yet my husband and I made sure to address these important topics with our daughter, ensuring she was comfortable and informed.
Overcoming Abuse and Neglect
Unfortunately, my parents were abusive. When my mother would tell me I had a big mouth and talked too much, it was her way of wanting me to keep quiet about the issues in our home. She wanted me to be obedient and not reveal the truth about our family's struggles. It was only later in life that I understood the significance of her advice and how it shaped my personality and approach to life.
Conclusion: Lessons Learned
Despite the challenges and less-than-perfect parenting, there is a wealth of wisdom to be gained from our parents. Lessons like not abusing or manipulating, keeping personal conversations to ourselves, being honest and keeping our word, respecting others, and staying close to our family can have a profound impact on our lives. These are valuable advice that can be applied in both personal and professional settings, leading to a more fulfilling and respectful existence.