Embracing Our True Path: Living by Our Own Standards
Do you ever find yourself wondering, 'Why do I feel like I’m living someone else’s life?' These thoughts are common for many of us as we navigate the complex web of societal expectations and personal desires. In this article, we will explore how to break free from the chains of others' standards and adopt a life that aligns with our true selves. Drawing from real-life experiences, we'll uncover the courage to pursue a path that brings us genuine contentment.
The Struggle Against External Standards
Imagine a life where you are forever swayed by the opinions and expectations of others. This can lead to a blended existence—living in a shadow of someone else's dreams and aspirations. Just as Nike famously encourages, 'Just do it,' we must take control of our own destinies.
From Family Expectations to Personal Freedom
My journey began with my mother’s constant criticism when I was young. Her negative comments made me realize that I didn’t want to follow the cliche path of getting a job, marrying, and having children right after school. Instead, I chose a different route, one that prioritized my own happiness and independence. This decision often left me feeling awkward and misunderstood by my family, who expected me to conform to a traditional lifestyle.
I clubbed, traveled, and lived a life that prioritized my own happiness, even when it clashed with family traditions. I took pride in my choices, but sometimes, family and friends would question my lack of kids or a traditional marriage. Phrases like, 'Why do I need a child to validate me?' and 'Why do I need a child to complete me?' underscore the feeling that everyone is trying to control my life to fit into their expectations.
The Power of Personal Choice
Deciding to live by your own standards is a powerful move. It means taking charge of your life and making choices that bring you joy, rather than trying to appease others. Here are some key takeaways from my personal journey:
Breaking the Family Cliché
I realized that growing up in a family where the cliche 'get a job, get married, have kids' applied, meant that my own life was not validated by those expectations. I opted to travel, party, and live my life on my own terms, which often strained my relationship with my family. However, this decision was liberating and allowed me to find my true happiness.
The Independence of Adult Life
Even as a young adult, I faced challenges like living on the streets for a while and managing to survive through babysitting and paid gigs to have a hot shower, a meal, and clean clothes. This period of independence taught me the value of self-reliance and living a life that was truly my own.
Shooting for a Different Outcome
As I grew older and lived a life centered around my own happiness, I noticed a shift in my relationships with others. Friends asked how many grandkids I had, and I simply replied, 'None,' because I didn’t want to be pigeonholed into being a 'baby machine.' I found a partner who cherished our time together, even without the pressure of having children.
Finding True Happiness Through Self-Discovery
Self-discovery is the key to living a fulfilling life. Reflecting on your childhood dreams and desires can help you understand what truly makes you happy. As I grew older, I realized that my early decision not to have kids was a reflection of my own desires. I discovered that I didn’t want to be controlled by the expectations of others and that being true to myself was more important than conforming to societal norms.
Embracing Independence
The path to true happiness lies in embracing your own happiness, regardless of what others may think. If you find yourself harboring deep-seated feelings of unhappiness or dissatisfaction, take the time to reflect on what your true desires are. If you feel like you need to be a parent or follow a traditional path, ask yourself why. Are these expectations coming from a place of love and support, or from a desire to control you?
Choosing Wisely
Choosing to live by your own standards is a lifelong journey. It’s about making choices that align with your values and beliefs. It doesn’t mean you’ll have more friends, but it does mean you’ll have a life that you genuinely love. True friends are those who support and respect your choices, not those who try to control you.
Conclusion
Ultimately, living a life that aligns with your own standards requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to embrace your true path. As you navigate through life, remember to stay true to your own beliefs and pursue a path that brings you genuine happiness. In doing so, you will find that the true measure of success is not in conforming to others' expectations, but in living a life that is authentic and meaningful to you.