Do Narcissists Truly Miss Their Old Life When They Leave Slights and Family?

There is a common misconception that narcissists, after leaving their wives, kids, or family, do not miss their old life or their children. However, actions speak louder than words. If a narcissist says, “don’t you miss us,” and responds with a ‘of course I do,’ chances are, you shouldn’t believe those hollow words. Trust his actions instead.

No, They Don’t Immediately Miss their Old Life

For narcissists, new relationships and partners often overshadow their past connections. The excitement of a new love interest or lifestyle can make the previous relationships and family life seem insignificant. It might take some time, but eventually, the effects of their self-centeredness will catch up with them. As they age, narcissists often reminisce about the good old days when they could control the situation and manipulate their surroundings with ease. However, once they pass the halfway mark, their antics are no longer tolerated by the world around them.

Life Gets Harsher for Narcissists When Friends Diminish

Typically, as people age, their social circles shrink. This can be especially challenging for narcissists, who rely on a wide network of individuals for emotional sustenance and validation. The need for constant new ‘supply’ is a hallmark of a narcissistic personality. Without this, their life can become incredibly difficult to navigate and understand. As a result, many narcissists regret leaving their old life, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise.

Lifetime Regret: Narcissists’ Yearning for the Past

Most narcissists will eventually look back on their relationships and family life with yearning. They may try to convince themselves and others that they were the best decisions of their lives, but the truth is often different. They struggle with their inward guilt and regret, but the damage has been done. Their actions betray their true feelings. For example, they might:

Speak about family members with indifference or even neglect, as if they never mattered. Avoid discussing the lives of old friends and family members, showing a lack of genuine interest or care. Crave validation and approval from former associates or family members, even if it is just a shallow gesture of loyalty.

No one, not even the most narcissistic among us, can wholly disassociate themselves from their past. Even if someone attempted to separate their life completely from past relationships, they cannot escape the deep-seated connections we forge over time. Parents, old friends, and children are an integral part of our lives, and we inevitably think of them, regardless of how challenging they might be.

Conclusion: Actions Reveal True Feelings

While it’s understandable to want to give others the benefit of the doubt, it’s crucial to pay attention to actions over words. If a narcissist says they do not miss their families but their behavior reveals otherwise, such as reaching out for old friends or planning to visit family members, then you can be sure that they do indeed miss the old life. The best way to understand a narcissist's feelings is to observe their actions and how they treat others in their life.

Further Reading:

For those seeking a deeper insight into the aging narcissist and the complex dynamics of their relationships, the chapter ‘The Ageing narcissist’ in the book ‘Prepare to be Tortured: The Price You Will Pay for Dating a Narcissist’ can be enlightening. This book provides a comprehensive understanding of how narcissists cope with aging and the lasting impact of their behavior on their close connections.

Key Takeaways:

Narcissists do not always miss their old life or their children immediately. Action reveals true feelings more than words. Years of self-centered behavior eventually catch up with narcissists, causing them to regret their actions.