Best Practices for Speeches at Weddings: Who, What, and Why?
Planning a wedding day can be full of small details and choices that may seem insignificant but can make a big impact. One such detail that often sparks debate among the couple and their close friends and family members is who makes speeches at the wedding and in what order. While the newlyweds may want to keep the atmosphere joyful, there are key considerations that can help ensure your wedding speeches are memorable rather than overcrowded with unnecessary content.
When Less Is More in Wedding Speeches
The general consensus is that more is not better when it comes to wedding speeches. Too many speeches can detract from the joy of the day and make the guests feel burdened, especially if they consist of lengthy and repetitive content.
Traditionally, the maid of honor and best man are expected to deliver speeches, as they are integral to the wedding. These speeches often touch on the relationship between the couple and provide a glimpse into the personalities and stories that have brought them to this special day. However, it is also common for the brides and grooms' parents to give speeches, especially the fathers.
Some couples choose to thank everyone individually, but this works best towards the end. It can be a way to involve the rest of the wedding party in the celebration without taking more time away from the festivities. Delivery of thankful speeches can span the middle of the ceremony or at the reception, but it’s best to keep them succinct and to the point.
Suggested Order of Speeches
Based on personal experience, I recommend the following order for speeches:
Brides Father
As the wedding day progresses, the speeches should begin with a strong and impactful one. Having the brides father speak first sets a positive tone and provides a meaningful and heartfelt experience for the guests. This speech can be a great opportunity to highlight significant moments in the bride's life and her relationship with her father.
Grooms Father
Following the brides father’s speech, the grooms father should give his speech. This midpoint is crucial in balancing the emotional weight and ensuring that there is a balance between the emotional content and the overall flow of the ceremony. His speech often stands as a bridge between the brides and grooms families.
Siblings and Other Close Relatives
After the fathers, it is customary to have speeches from close family members, such as siblings. These speeches can provide further insights into the couple's journey and may bring a chuckle to the audience with joyful or slightly awkward memories. Depending on the size of the wedding, these can follow one after another or interspersed with the couple’s speeches.
Tips for Delivering a Great Speech
No matter who is giving the speech, it is important to make it memorable and concise. Here are some tips to help your speaker deliver a standout speech:
One Index Card: Encourage the speakers to limit their content to a single index card. This not only keeps the speech short and to the point but also encourages a more personal and address-specific delivery.
Target Duration: A minute and a half to two minutes is typically the ideal length for a wedding speech. This allows the speaker to deliver the most important and heartfelt moments while balancing the other components of the ceremony.
Involvement: Ask the speakers to engage with the audience and make eye contact. Personal anecdotes and jokes can break the ice and make the speech more relatable and enjoyable for guests.
Concluding Thoughts
By carefully considering who speaks and in what order, you can ensure that your wedding speeches are well-received and contribute positively to your special day. With attention to detail and thoughtful planning, you can create a memorable and impactful moment for your guests, without overwhelming the festivities. Remember, the most important aspect of wedding speeches is that they enhance the joy and atmosphere of the day, not detract from it.
Key Takeaways:
Maid of Honor and Best Man:
Always include the maiden of honor and best man. They provide key insights into the couple's journey and personal stories.
Speakers' Length:
Limit each speech to one index card or one minute and a half to two minutes. This keeps the speech concise and engaging.
Speaker Role:
The brides father should speak first, followed by the grooms father, and then other close relatives or friends.